Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Some of the comments and questions left after my last blog were questioning the truth and reality of the events which always seem to happen in our lives’.  Unfortunately, neither I nor anyone else is creative enough to concoct these stories!!!  Fortunately however, I am strong enough to live through these events and still talk about them. 

Believe me, it’s ALL true.  The kids read each blog before I publish and usually add the things that I have subconsciously repressed.  Dwynn won’t read them because he becomes nauseous from the vivid memories and develops headaches from flashing dollar signs.  Friends can attest that they have lived through these events with us, unknowing what our karma will bring tomorrow.

Another question is, “given your track record, does it scare you just getting up in the morning?”  You bettcha!   We tell the kids all the time to do exactly opposite of what we do and they should all lead happy, safe, and successful lives.  

In this last blog about the camper, I didn't even write about the time Chloe and I had planned a weekend camping trip in the mountains.   While driving up a steep rocky incline, dodging large potholes, I ran over a boulder.  Thrilled that Dwynn wasn’t with us, Chloe and I got out of the truck to survey the new damage.  Not seeing anything, we were shocked at our new unfounded luck.  We continued on our way, arrived and set up camp smiling.

Chloe connected the water hose, sewage pipe and electric while I opened the awning and hung my cherished Chinese multi-colored lantern tchotchke lights.  After eating shish kabob for dinner and watching the sunset during our campfire, we decided to get ready for bed.  I got undressed and turned on the water for my shower.  The water pressure wasn’t very strong but that was OK.  As I was trying to rinse the shampoo from my hair in the trickle, Chloe came running in half-screaming, half-laughing.  At that instant, the shower flooring started to creak and wiggle.  All soapy, I jumped out of the shower as the whole plumbing system crashed to the ground with high pressured water spraying everywhere.   Needless to say, we became pretty famous at this campground as well!  

I also didn’t write about our end 0f the year Girl Scout Troop camp outing to an amusement park in Idaho.  Everything was great until it came time to pack-up the camper and leave.  We disconnected the electric and began to drain the sewage.  As we were flushing all the tanks, we noticed the black holding tank was plugged.  For you folks who don’t know, the grey holding tank is for the sinks and shower and the black holding tank is for the toilet.  While I was in the lodge restroom washing dishes, the girls thought that adding a large amount of water would unclog the drainage hose.  We realized too late that the cap had mistakenly been left on the hose when it was initially placed in the drain.  I arrived just in time to see the sewage hose bulging and BULGING.  All of us were scrambling backward when it exploded with 15 girl’s worth of …. in it! 

When the tube burst, it started spraying and dancing all through the air.  While still spraying I frantically disconnected the main tube from the camper and told all the screaming girls to hurry up and squish in the car so we could immediately leave.  Covered in sweat, I pulled away nonchalantly.  We heard someone honking and yelling to me that I had left our RV steps down by mistake.  I calmly said thank you and hurriedly got out, lifted the steps and got back into the truck.  Believe it or not, the hose was still spraying!   As I drove a bit further, another car was honking at me.  Feeling discovered for sure this time, I got out and the fellow camper told me that I forgot to lower our sky lights.  I calmly said thank you and again rushed back into the truck.  As we approached the front campground gate one of the girls was feeling sick and needed to use the restroom.  I parked my rig and again nonchalantly went in with her.  Surrounding the sink area were women gossiping about “the camper who’s …. had just exploded all over the park.”  I had to sound shocked!

AND BELIEVE ME THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICE BURG!!!  TUNE IN FOR MY NEXT BLOG... AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS...  PLEASE.

A favorite recipe that I always make with my Girl Scouts when camping is a Gourmet Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich.  Even the “picky eaters” eat this one!

Gourmet Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

1 Loaf of Texas Toast Bread

Fresh Sliced Strawberries

1 jar of Strawberry Preserves

1 8ounce package of Cream Cheese

1 can of Dry Roasted Peanuts

1 jar of Crunchy Peanut Butter

For each sandwich, spread one slice of bread with the preserves, one slice with the peanut butter and one slice with cream cheese.  Layer sliced strawberries over the preserves.  Sprinkle peanuts over the peanut butter.  Arrange sandwich first with peanut butter slice facing up, then cream cheese slice facing down and then strawberry slice facing down.  Gently grill or toast each sandwich until lightly brown and filling is warm.  YUM!!!   

Happy Camper Anniversary

I've had a really hectic summer and now I'm back!  My main focus will be writing on this blog.

Keep the comments coming and spread the word!

Thanks, Aimee

Our Camper Anniversary

How it All Began

As of today we have lived in the camper for one year!  Last summer we had no idea that we’d be in this fifth wheel for so long.  We’re still unsure how long it will be until we complete the home we have yet to even start.  Hopefully there won’t be too many more anniversaries!  Last night sitting around our campfire we started reminiscing about “The Camper Curse.”  Truth is always stranger than fiction.    

For many years we've wanted to purchase a “toy.”  Living in San Diego, EVERYONE has toys.  Knowing that I love the beach, Dwynn loves fishing and we all enjoy camping, except when it rains, we figured that a camper was the perfect solution.  After researching Class A motor homes, trailers and pop-ups, we decided on a fifth wheel.  Dwynn needed a new vehicle anyway so we figured we’d kill two birds with one stone and buy a dually Dodge pick-up at the same time as the RV.  Both were delivered to our home on the Thursday afternoon before the last day of school, prior to summer break.  

When the delivery date was confirmed, I made reservations at a special RV campground that bordered the Arizona - California state line.  What a GREAT way for the family to kick-off summer vacation!  On Friday, the four kids would arrive home from school and Dwynn from work, then off we’d go.  Chloe and I went shopping to furnish the camper with cutlery, dishware, bedding, and gourmet food.  After the camper was totally bedecked on Thursday night, Dwynn and Alex began hitching the fifth wheel into the bed of the truck.  Chloe was asleep and Bryce and Russ were busy texting on the phone to friends about what pranks they could pull-off the next morning in school before summer dismissal.  

It was 11:30 pm when I heard the crash!  Dwynn and Alex were standing in the empty driveway with gaped mouths and arms flailing.  Dwynn was pacing back and forth saying words AL and I didn’t quite want to understand.  Having no light outside and no experience hitching the camper to the truck, it was done incorrectly, to say the least.  When they began their test drive, the camper came unhitched and smashed down on the truck bed.  The slope of the driveway caused both vehicles to roll into the street.  As the truck rolled, the brake system on the camper caused the RV and truck to stop abruptly blocking the whole road.  When Bryce and Russ came out, they found me with my mouth gaped and arms flailing. 

The camper is designed with a brake lock system that goes into effect when the connection between the camper and truck is broken.  Being that the truck separated from the camper, the brake system worked!  The brakes locked on the camper so well that even when the police arrived by chance at 2 am, they were unable to budge it from blocking the entire road.  Luckily during our purchase we became friendly with Stuart, our RV representative who had given me his business card with his home phone number on it.  Finally at 2:30 we were able to reach him.  He identified the specific replacement part we needed from their repair shop to move the RV.  Being unable to reach the company owner, Stuart and I were sent with good wishes from the friendly policeman to climb the fence and break-in to the dealership to steal the necessary piece.  I have to admit, it was a bit creepy being partnered in crime with this virtual stranger at four in the morning. 

As the sun began to rise, the salesman and I returned home to find the RV still in the middle of the road and the policeman chatting with Alex.  Now that it was dawn, it was easier to assess the damage that occurred to both vehicles.  We totaled the truck bed and had smashed the entire overhang of the fifth wheel!  Stuart was able to fix the brake system and re-hitch the camper so it could finally be moved.  In the driveway chatting over coffee and croissants, the policeman and Stuart decided there was no need to postpone our excursion since nothing could be fixed over the weekend anyway.  Being a bit apprehensive, we decided to forge ahead.   We could drop both things off on Monday to be repaired.  

Early Friday evening after everyone arrived home, we left on our first camping adventure.  At dusk we pulled off the highway to purchase some gasoline.  While Dwynn approached the turn towards the gas pump he under estimated the amount of space needed.  The kids and I all gritted our teeth as we heard the screeching and cracking down the entire length of the left side of the camper as it scraped the red metal post that protects the pump from patrons like us.  Unfortunately, that is also the side where our slide-out is!  Since everything was already smashed and bruised, including egos, and every passerby was already staring at us on the highway, we tenaciously persevered.  With paralytic slowness, Dwynn drove with no hesitation of brake slamming and causing family whiplash, we finally arrived at our destination at one am.

Under no circumstances were we going to unhitch the camper again until we were at the repair lot on Monday, so we prayed for a pull-through camping spot.  Not only was Dwynn unused to driving a dually truck but he had never pulled a 30 foot camper, let alone back one up.   Of course being this late, there were no pull-through spots available.  We kept circling and circling with our brights beaming waiting until some experienced disturbed soul came out of their camper to help us back-up.  After fifteen minutes three irritated intoxicated men drove up in a golf cart.  After giving them some beer and a good laugh, their contempt disappeared.  Actually we became quite famous at this campground as we were the main attraction.  Everyone had to come and see our smashed and dented brand new auto and RV.  As their disturbed faces twitched we could tell they were secretly pleased with their own mishaps.

As the morning hours advanced, so did the temperature.  By lunchtime the thermometer reached above 100 degrees. Neither the air conditioner nor refrigerator was working.  All six of us were on edge and fighting.  We were all thinking “how could we ever have thought that purchasing a broiling tin can to live in would be FUN?”  We left by three o’clock.  On Saturday evening we dropped off both the car and fifth wheel to be fixed in closed sale lots.  

Being that the accidents happened at separate times, even though it was within a day, we had to pay three deductibles!  The cost of this toy was quickly escalating.  After two weeks both things were repaired.  We picked up the truck from the body shop and then drove to the camper repair shop.  Dwynn and I both needed a serious lesson on the correct way to hitch.

Dwynn went first.  He backed the truck up and with the help of the repairman he was able to line things up and hitch correctly.  After repeating this three times, it was now my turn.  I slowly backed the truck up and the repairman told me to pull forward and readjust.  My window was open so I could hear his commands and blood-curdling scream.  I stopped immediately and was frozen with fear.  This poor boy continued to hold the tailgate of the truck with his right hand, while he asked me to drive forward. The metal hitch on the camper was hanging down and he severed three of his fingers.  He was lying on the ground writhing in pain holding his bloodied hand.  As he was being transported to the hospital, another repairman told us that just before our arrival, this boy had purchased a new Les Paul guitar system.  Even though we were assured that this accident was not my fault, I was in shock, trying not to throw-up and terrified to go near this cursed truck or camper!  The shop owner would still not allow us to leave until I had learned the correct way to hitch. 

After forty minutes we arrived home and washed all the blood from the new truck bed.  Reluctantly I went inside the camper to check everything and lock it up when unbelievably, I smelled smoke.  I noticed the back cupboard had flown open during the drive and my special any-strike matches stroked each other and ignited.  The exterior wall of the slide and the back wall were blackened with soot.  One chair had a burned splotch and a portion of the carpet had melted.  Thankfully, the fire extinguished itself.  Realizing that our two propane tanks are mounted just outside of the back wall, we felt extremely lucky there wasn’t a huge explosion.  Without cleaning, I shut and locked the door and wouldn’t re-enter for at least a month. 

Just think, if the camper had exploded we’d be homeless now. 

Happy Anniversary!   

For special occasions, such as our anniversary, I love to make this cake!  This recipe is from my college roommate.  When her mother would make this,I'd always make sure I'd get a piece. I didn’t know I liked carrot cake until I tasted this one. After you’ve tasted this recipe, you’ll be a REAL Carrot Cake Snob!    Thanks, Rosie

Carrot Cake

(Make 2 days ahead)

4 large eggs

1 ¼ cup Vegetable Oil

2 cups Flour

2 teaspoons Baking Soda

2 teaspoons Baking Powder

1 ½ teaspoon Salt

2 teaspoon Cinnamon

2 cups Sugar

1 can (8 1/3 ounce) crushed Pineapple, drained

2 cups packed shredded carrots (about 6)

3/4 cup Walnuts or Pecans, chopped coarsely  

Place eggs and oil in mixing bowl, blend well.  Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and sugar.  Add to mixing bowl.  Add pineapple, carrots and nuts.  Mix well.  Pour into greased 13X9 pan.  Bake at 350* for 35 minutes.  Cool completely for about 50 minutes on rack.  Ice with cream cheese frosting.  Refrigerate for 2 days before eating.

Cream Cheese Frosting

½ cup Butter or Margarine

1 – 8 ounce Cream Cheese, softened

1 teaspoon Vanilla

1 pound Confectioner Sugar

Cream margarine, cream cheese and vanilla, add sugar and beat well.  Frost, then sprinkle with nuts.  Cover and place in refrigerator for two days.

Honor Our Soldiers - For you Tomy

The state of Montana is often called the biggest little town ever.  Geographically, the state’s size is almost equivalent to California; however, the population stands at 989,000.  Compare that to the 3.1 million people living in San Diego County alone!   Even with the massive size of this state, the meager population allows everyone to know each other through some connection or another.  

Having no professional ball teams, Montana’s fans flock to the two state universities for an always exciting rivalry game.  If not college ball, there are always high school sports. 

                                                                                                  

Our kids travel by bus throughout the state for different athletic competitions.  This gives the children and parents the opportunity to meet other Montanans multiple times within a school year.

Okay, what does this have to do with Tomy?  Tomy is a 21 year old boy who graduated with Russell.  His extended family and friends are spread throughout the state.  In high school Tomy was involved in football and wrestling.  His family is very well known and respected.  They own the local bowling alley where my league is held every Tuesday. 

Russ being in the middle of his junior year when we moved here, I didn’t get to really know Tomy until he was a senior.  I became friendly with his mother Lisa, as we would often chat about the boys and their adventures.  After graduation, Tomy came home with the news that he enlisted in the Marines.  He couldn’t wait to finally leave this small town and have the opportunity to explore the vast world.  Every Tuesday his mother would keep us all abreast of his travels.  When he’d come home on leave, it was always fun to visit with him.  He matured into such a nice, polite young man.

Tomy was thrilled when he learned he’d be stationed in Oceanside, CA.  Lisa and I would chat about all the different things to do in the San Diego area.  Then, Tomy got his orders.  He was to be deployed in September, in just three months, to Afghanistan.  Much conversation and many tears were shed over the unknown.  Russ at this time had just joined the Army Officer’s Training program through his university.  Proud as I am, unfortunately now I could relate. 

As the end of the three months speedily crept up, Tomy came home to say good bye again.  He left with memories of parties and many well wishes.  Lisa was able to spend the last week before his deployment with him in San Diego.           

We continued to get our weekly reports on how and what he was doing in Afghanistan.  She’d relay stories of sleepless nights and again, the unknown.   I quickly relayed these stories of angst to Russ so he could start feeling sufficiently guilty over his life decisions.  I could barely make it through wrestling season!  How am I ever to endure my child’s participation in the army?

Two months later one Saturday morning, while the bowling alley was very busy, the phone rang.  Not recognizing the number, Lisa let it go unanswered.  At noon a second call came from the same number.   This time she picked up.

It was the Marines notifying her that earlier that morning while Tomy was on patrol with his platoon in search of buried land mines, he had stepped on an IED (improvised explosive device).  By the grace of god, he was still alive.  I’m not sure how Lisa made it through the day!

That evening, her daughter starred in the middle school play “The Wizard of Oz” with Chloe.  It wasn’t until after the play in the dressing room we heard what had happened.  I spotted Lisa in the parking lot and all we did was cry and hold each other for several minutes.  At that time, all we knew was that he lost both legs, his partial left arm (he’s left handed), incurred damage to one eye and he had a great deal of shrapnel that needed removed, but he was still alive. The news of what had happened to Tomy spread through the state like wild fire!

He was flown from Afghanistan to Germany where he had both legs amputated and his partial left hand.  The surgeons were able to save his thumb.  They removed several fragments of shrapnel and fortunately his eye was never injured.  A nurse from Montana was working at the same German hospital and had heard he was there.  She visited Tomy and gave him a Montanan donated blanket with her signature.  This way he had a little bit of home across the world.

We learned that two days prior to Tomy’s accident, he was on patrol with his platoon when two of his comrades stepped on an IED.  Being blown against a rock during the explosion, he quickly regained awareness.  The medic was unconscious and unable to assist.  Tomy deftly put tourniquets on both boys severed limbs and radioed for help.  He is credited for saving both of their lives!  What a strong man it takes to endure this experience and then return to work knowing and experiencing personally all the permanent hazards!

Within the week, Tomy was transferred to Bethesda, MD where his family was anxiously waiting.  It was there, he was awarded the Purple Heart.  His roommate was one of the two men he’d saved.  Regrettably, the other man developed an infection in his severed limb and passed away while in the ICU.  This was almost unbearable for all the mothers.   

Back at home across the state, signs of support for Tomy and his family popped up EVERYWHERE!  Billboards, newspaper articles, radio interviews and advertising store signs all state “Pray for our Hero, Tomy.”  A face book page; Keeping the FAITH for Tomy Parker, has been established.  There are 2218 members!  I have never experienced such community support for one person. 

There is a country song by Lambert Miranda titled “Famous in a Small Town.”  The lyrics represent Montana more than anything I could ever express. 

Tomy has now been transferred back to San Diego where his rehab can begin.  The Marines gave him a week of leave so he can come home and attend a benefit on his behalf to raise funds to help in his recovery.

When news of his impending arrival was heard, the local towns went wild with preparations.  His plane arrived a week ago Wednesday evening during one of our usual snow storms to the Missoula airport.  The temperature was in the single digits.  The airport was FLOODED with people to welcome Tomy home.  Many were strangers.  No parking was available and there was standing room only!  At 10 pm his motorcade of 454 cars began the 71 mile trek to Polson, MT.  With heavy snow falling, police cars and fire engines with their sirens blaring, cars sporting flapping American flags from windows, vans and buses with banners snapping in the wind, led the way.  Tomy was overwhelmed to say the least and cried for the first time.

Families lined the roads.  Children were kept from bed to see Tomy’s arrival and to wave their poster they had made in school.  Soldiers and Vets were standing at honor with flags as the motorcade passed through their towns.  Bands played and fireworks burst above while people cheered and waved flags.  Tomy was not the only one to cry! 

Then came his benefit!

 What an eye opening experience for a MT newbie.  Approaching the community hall where the twelve hour event was being held, we were greeted with an enormous American flag proudly flying, hoisted from a crane.  All I know is that at sunset, it took 18 men to fold and carry the flag after being lowered.  They had a spaghetti dinner ready to feed over 2,500 people.  Three barns were filled with donated items for a silent auction.  A touching and very sentimental presentation was made where Kleenex’s were even donated.  This was all followed by a live auction and then capping the evening, was a concert.  Throughout the entire twelve hours, this large hall was again standing room only!  From his wheel chair, Tomy greeted EVERYONE in line waiting to speak with him.  His stamina is amazing.  The amount of money raised has not yet been disclosed. 

Still overwhelmed and amazed from the community support, Tomy made a wonderful humble speech.  The first thing he said is “I’m glad to be from such a small town!”  When he stated that he is even more popular than the president here, everyone stood and cheered with Kleenex in hand. 

The personal sacrifice he made for our country’s freedom is greatly respected and appreciated.  God bless our brave soldiers and keep them safe!

I wanted to follow this blog with a favorite recipe of Tomy’s.  His favorite food is spaghetti.  Not wanting to write a recipe for spaghetti, I went with his favorite desert - Cheesecake.  Lisa, not having her recipes available in San Diego, I went with my ALL-TIME favorite company pleaser.  Tomy, I hope you like it! 

Chocolate Chambord Cheesecake

Serves 12

4 tablespoons Butter

2 cups crushed Oreo crumbs

2 pounds Cream Cheese (4 packages)

¾ cup Sugar

1 teaspoon Vanilla

3 Eggs

12 ounces of Semi-Sweet Chocolate, melted

1 cup Sour Cream

3 tablespoons of Chambord Liquor

½ teaspoon of Cinnamon

Preheat oven to 325*

Butter 9 inch spring form pan.  Melt butter and toss with crumbs.  Press crumb mixture on bottom and sides of pan.  Beat cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth.  Add eggs one at a time.  Add melted chocolate and mix.  Add sour cream, Chambord and cinnamon.

Pour mixture into shell.  Bake one hour or until center is firm.  Cool completely, then chill.  Can make one day ahead. 

Garnish with either red raspberries and whip cream or top with ganache.

Ganache Recipe:  Boil 12 ounces of heavy whipping cream.  Chop 12 ounces of chocolate in processor.  While chocolate is spinning, slowly pour in hot cream.  Blend until smooth, cool.  Pour over top of cake and sides.  Garnish with red raspberries.

Christine, Our Lawn Tractor

Living on sixteen acres, one of our first purchases was a lawn tractor.  It’s really just a glorified riding lawn mower with a higher price tag.  We bought it from our neighborhood Ace Hardware Store with a five year warranty.

After we had only used the mower for two months we noticed the blade was not cutting the grass evenly.  Dwynn and the boys hoisted the mower up to see if they could figure out what was wrong and make the repair themselves.  No such luck, we had to call Ace.  They sent a repair man with a truck and trailer to retrieve it.  The young man grabs two 18” wide folding steel ramps and lines them up with his flatbed trailer.  His intention is to ride the tractor up onto the truck which is about three feet high.  It didn’t look like a secure solution and being the nervous ninny I am, I expressed my concern.  He assured me, he does this multiple times a day and its fine – He’s a country boy.  I assured him that I couldn’t catch him! 

As he rides the tractor up, my eyes are barely open with my head turned.  I hear him stop, open my eyes and he’s stuck dangling from then edge of the truck.  After he wiggles for a couple of seconds, one of the ramps give way, he falls off and the tractor falls on top of him!  Being a country boy, he pushes it off and says “Wholly Cow, that’s never happened before.”  I explained that’s because he’s never been here before!  He arranged to come back the next day with a different type of trailer and an assistant.  I arranged NOT to be home.

Ace delivered the repaired tractor a couple of weeks later.  Within two months, the tractor broke again.  When making my appointment for the repair, I explained on the telephone what transpired the first time, but they already remembered. 

This time Ace sent an older gentleman in his late 60’s.  He returns with the same original flatbed truck and the same ramps!  While he aligned the ramps up on our stone driveway, I quickly warned him and spoke of our last experience.  He ASSURED me, “that kid didn’t know what he was doing.”  He’s done this for forty years and I have nothing to worry about – He’s a farmer. 

As he rides the tractor up, my eyes are barely open with my head turned.  I hear him stop, open my eyes and he’s stuck dangling from the edge of the truck!  He says “Oh Boy, that’s never happened before.”  I explained that’s because he’s never been here before.  He wiggles for a couple of seconds, one of the ramps give way, he falls off and the tractor falls on top of him!  I quickly help him free and wipe off all the stones stuck into his arm.  This man happened to be on blood thinners so his arm started spurting blood everywhere like a pin cushion.  As I was trying to not throw-up, which now we all know I do when nervous, he assured me he was fine, got a red rag from his truck and left.  I’m still not sure if the rag was originally red or not!

Since we don’t burn our pasture, we need to mow with our undependable tractor mower.  The next spring, we drive it out of the barn to cut the new spring grass.  Sure enough, the tractor is broken AGAIN!  When I called Ace to set up an appointment, I told them I would definitely not be home when they came and to NOT bring the same kind of trailer.  They guaranteed me they would bring the low bed this time and I could be home.  Been there, done that –twice, I was not going to be here!

When I arrived home the afternoon of the appointment, I noticed the tractor was still here.  I called Ace to see what had happened this time.  They said they came and picked it up with no problems.   YES, they stole the neighbor’s tractor instead!  We’ve decided to name our tractor “Christine.”

This recipe is an ALL time favorite of everyone’s!  I am always asked for this recipe whenever I serve it.  It’s so easy, I’m embarrassed!

GOLDEN CARROT SOUFFLE

SERVES 4

1 pound Carrots

½ cup melted Margarine

3 Eggs

2/3 cup Sugar

3 tablespoons Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Powder

1 teaspoon Vanilla

Cook carrots until tender in a small amount of water, drain.  Combine with margarine in blender or food processor.  Add remaining ingredients, blend well.  Pour into greased one quart soufflé dish.  Bake at 350* for 45 minutes until firm.

This dish can easily be doubled, just bake longer.  Also, this can be frozen raw or made the day ahead.  Defrost completely and bake just before serving.

                                             Enjoy, Aimee   

When is a fire NOT a fire?

Transplanted from San Diego and unfortunately having close experience with forest fires, I thought that I knew all the signs to look for to be safe. 

In Montana, the late spring is fire season.  In Montana, the late summer is fire season; of course, two completely different things.  I’ve always been told it takes three years to acclimate to a new area.  Relocating for Dwynn’s job so many times, I’ve found that always to be true…until now

It’s gonna take longer

In the spring, while leaving to run an errand, I noticed a fire had started across the street from our home in a potato field.  Actually, there are no streets in Montana; they are all “roads.”  The temperature outside had been warm so I figured a tractor back fired and unknowingly to the farmer, it lit some brush.  Being a good concerned citizen I called 911. 

We have an all volunteer fire department.  When there is a fire, a deafening siren blows to alert the WHOLE community.  The trained firemen drop whatever they are doing and rush to the firehouse.  They gather the needed information; get into their fire rigs and GO!  Everyone in town is aware.

Since we were leaving, I waited parked in my car until I was assured the firemen had arrived.  We then left, feeling secure.  A few hours later when we returned back home, we noticed that flames were still blazing, yet the firemen had left.  Again, I figured there were hot spots that had just reignited.  Being the concerned citizen, I immediately called 911, again. 

A “nice” dispatcher explained that many people in Montana burn their fields, gardens and yards before planting season to enrich their soil and to remove weeds.  This fire in the potato field was a controlled fire and I wasted many men’s time by calling.  Who would have known, silly me!

Ok, now feeling embarrassed and really stupid, everybody in town knows we are Montana newbie’s.  The next morning we get up and notice this “controlled” fire is still burning.  At this point, several trees had been caught and an abandoned house was in flames.  There was no way I was going to call a THIRD time!  Sure enough, when all was done, the comments were “Why didn’t someone call the fire department?”

During the late summer and early fall is the other fire season.  Things are extremely dry and there is a lot of flammable brush.  Our first summer, the smoke was so thick we couldn’t see the animals in the pasture.  I couldn’t imagine how they were breathing.  I pleaded with Dwynn to let me bring them into the house.  They could stay in the bathroom, we had a big tub!  I think the cow would have fit but he wouldn’t let me.  Many hours were spent inside with the air conditioning on and continuous air filters circulating.  We had just purchased our ranch and it was our mountain range that was ablaze.  At the time, our property was being logged of all sick and dead trees.  For once, things worked out and the fire was extinguished before it reached the property line.  Over the last few years, we’ve been fortunate and there have been very few wildfires, except for those in the springtime!    

 After we moved here, I purchased a cast iron tripod with a cast iron kettle to use when cooking over our campfire.  Never being a fan of baked beans, my sister told me to try this recipe of hers.  We made them over the fire and I loved them!. It’s the only way my family ever gets them now!  Don't worry, the recipe below is using the oven. 

M’s Baked Beans

Serves 8

 1/8 cup Bacos

½ cup Onions, chopped

2 Garlic Cloves, minced

¼ cup Brown Sugar

1 ½ tablespoons Cider Vinegar

¼ cup Ketchup

1 drop Liquid Smoke

2 - 15 ounce cans of Vegetarian Baked Beans

1 – 15 ounce can of Dark Kidney Beans, drained and rinsed

Preheat oven to 350*

Saute onions.  Combine all ingredients.  Bake covered 30 minutes.  Reduce heat to 300* and bake 1 hour.  If time allows, bake at 200* for 1 more hour.

                                             Enjoy!

 

 

My First (and so far, my only) Montana Back Packing Trip

After surviving our first winter in Montana, we anxiously looked forward to summer and all the activities the area had to offer.  The temperatures this June week were warm and the mountains were coming alive.  Every mammal had their adorable offspring following close by.  The melting snow on the mountain tops caused the rivers and creeks to rapidly flow.  A multitude of green colors dusted with specks of pink, yellow and blue, carpeted the landscape.  Clouds couldn’t be found amidst the turquoise sky.  The scenery was breath taking.  This was the Montana we moved for!

While Dwynn was on call working over the weekend, I wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather.  The forecast predicted clear skies and temperatures in the 80’s.  The kids and I decided to take our first overnight Montana wildlife backpacking trip adventure.  Alex was in California visiting friends so he was unable to join us.

Friends often spoke of a series of small pristine lakes in the mountains that are fed only by a stream of waterfalls due to the melting snow.  The only way to approach the lakes is by foot.  We believed the trail was only a few miles long, meandering through the mountains which would take approximately two and a half hours to reach.  Camping is primitive so we needed to bring the necessary supplies.

Figuring since we now live here and we’d go camping frequently, I decided to invest in decent backpacking equipment.  Off we went to the sporting goods store to purchase our new gear.  I bought tents, a small propane grill, sleeping bags, a water purifier, a bear bag and a can of bear spray. 

A bear bag is a small canvas bag that cinches closed with long ropes.  You fill the bag with all your food and all the clothes that have food on them. Then far, far away from your camping site, you whip it over the highest branch you can find.  This will hopefully keep the bears out of the food and far, far away from your tent. 

Bear spray is a small red can that looks exactly like a fire extinguisher.  It’s filled with a high pressure pepper spray.  This and a gun are the best friends you can have while traipsing through the woods.  Now, the problem with bear spray is that you have to get uncomfortably close to the face of an approaching bear for it to be effective.  Then, if you have enough forethought you need to know which way the wind is blowing! 

Our food is packed, the gear is loaded and off we go.  The sun is shining and the temperature is in the upper 80’s.  It takes us close to an hour to drive to the trail head.  When there, the three kids and I jump out of the car and begin our highly anticipated adventure.  We don’t walk even ten feet and are greeted by the largest grizzly bear we've ever seen.  Glaring at us, the bear stands up tall and stretches out both arms.  At first frozen, we gain composure and then all of us RUN back into the car.  I’m outta here!  During the hour drive home, the kids convince me to come back tomorrow and try again.

The next day, we reload the car and I load my gun.  The temperature seems warmer and the sky is still crystal blue.  On the way we decide to pick up lunch so we can immediately start hiking.  My lunch choice happened to be an Indian taco.  This is a fried piece of flat dough, similar to a pita filled with meat, chili beans, onions and cheese – my first mistake.  The kids chose a healthier selection; I taught them well. 

As we drive again up the mountain to reach the trail head, so does the temperature.  The car’s outside thermostat is reading 101*F.  When we arrive, we yell and sing – this is best defense against startling a bear so they keep their distance.  With our gear strapped on our backs, my gun in my pants (girls, you’d be so proud) off we go, again.

After just starting this three hour trek, I realize, boy am I out of shape!  The first 75% of the trail is nothing but switchbacks.  An hour in, I get the worst doubling over cramps topped off by diarrhea.  I don’t need to get into the details but when you’re backpacking in the middle of NOWHERE, this is not fun!  Thirty minutes later, I start vomiting.  The kids thought I was gonna die!  I think my swollen sausage fingers did ‘em in.  I’m sure the Indian taco I ate before my jaunt, the extreme heat, elevation and the tight gun belt all contributed to my discomfort.  The higher and higher we hiked up the mountain, the boys kept taking things out of my backpack to lighten my load.  The trail WOULDN’T end!  After four agonizing hours we sent Bryce, since he’s the loudest and least likely to startle a bear, ahead to see how much further the trail went.  Problem now is, I couldn’t turn around and make it another four hours back and it would be getting dark. 

Fortunately cell service worked so we called Dwynn.  His advice was to continue as long as I took a break every 30-35 minutes.  I almost died just from laughing – more like every four minutes! 

After five grueling hours, we finally reached the most beautiful, untouched mountain lake we have ever seen.  This small round lake is totally enclosed by a ring of mountains with a large waterfall.  The water is so clean, you can drink it directly from the lake (we purified it anyway).    

As we set-up camp, we realized we purchased the wrong type of fuel for the stove.  Being prepared I also brought matches.  Our dinner was cooked over a fire while our collected wood was still DRY!  As part of our preparation, we checked the weather forecast and we were assured of 0% chance of rain, NOT.  The weather was beautiful through sunset at 10:30 pm.  We dressed for bed and entered our tents, then, the thunder and lightning started.  The hail rocks didn’t start pummeling for at least another hour.  At midnight, just as my phone was dying, Dwynn called to warn me about an approaching electrical storm and micro wind bursts. 

Torrential showers were pouring down on us.  I was terrified we’d be washed into the lake.  Trying to maintain my facade of calmness for the kid's sake, I quickly resumed my vomiting, in our campsite right next to our tent door.  Chloe’s and my “rainproof” tent stayed relatively dry compared to Russ and Bryce’s.  One can not imagine how BRIGHT lightning is and how LOUD thunder is ricocheting endlessly in a small enclosed circle of mountains.  Something everyone truly should experience! 

Now worried that a whole bear family will find the fresh feast I just left them outside my tent, I faced the longest night of my life.  During my only hour of sleep, I dreamt of Advil and what I could bribe each child with, in exchange for a scalp and foot massage.

At 4:30 am, the sun was shining and it was beautiful again.  Since the firewood we collected was soaking wet, we ate granola bars, packed up and headed back down the mountain, thankfully uneventful, never to return again (for me at least)!   

When we go hiking or camping, I always make these granola bars.  They are far better tasting than store bought and all natural.  This is a much better alternative than an Indian Taco before a long backpacking trip!

Granola Bars

2 cups Rolled Oats

½ cup Wheat Germ

1 cup Sliced Almonds

½ cup Sunflower Seeds

¼ cup packed Brown Sugar

½ cup Honey

2 tablespoons Butter

2 teaspoons of Vanilla

¼ teaspoon Cinnamon

½ teaspoon Sea Salt

½ cup Chocolate Chips

½ cup Butterscotch Chips

¾ cup of chopped mixed Dried Fruit

Butter 9x9” square pan with 1 tablespoon of butter. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Sprinkle oats, wheat germ, almonds and sunflower seeds onto ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake for 15 minutes or until lightly browned, stirring often.  Reduce heat to 300 degrees.

Combine brown sugar, honey, 1 tablespoon butter, vanilla, cinnamon and salt in a large saucepan over medium heat.  Stir and cook until all the sugar is dissolved.  Immediately add the oat mixture, chocolate and butterscotch chips and dried fruit.  Stir to combine.

Place combined mixture in buttered pan and press down evenly.  Bake for 25 minutes.  Allow to cool before cutting into bars.  ENJOY!

Haute Cuisine of Montana

I’ve always lived within the United States and am fortunate to have the opportunity to travel internationally, and yet, I’ve never experienced culture shock more with food than here in Montana. 

In China, I expected strange things to land on my plate; however, I was caught off guard when I was served a bowl of thick white cream soup garnished with huge black carpenter ants scattered across the top!   Drinking water was imported from France but beer was brewed locally which meant…it was far more fiscally practical to drink beer ALL day.   In Japan I mostly ate fish.  They served dried fish, fresh fish, smoked fish, cured fish, raw fish and even live fish.  That I could handle, sort of.  Admittingly, this was the only time on vacation I ever lost weight.    

Now we move to Montana.  How different could the food REALLY be? When reading this, one must keep in mind that we have kept kosher for the past 18 years.  With all the kosher meat we previously purchased and consumed, we were assured the animal was slaughtered in a certain way and all organs were free of any blemishes.  This was all our kids had ever known. 

It dawned on us that things would be quite different here within a week of our arrival.  We received a thoughtful invitation for the whole family to a “welcome dinner” at the home of an associate of my husband’s.  The delicious aroma of grilled meat wafted through the house when we entered.  Russ asked what was cooking on the bar-b-que and the wonderfully received response was steaks.  The boys were beyond thrilled.  They NEVER get their own steak, it’s always too expensive.  This was a well deserved break from all the unpacking.  The smell made everyone even more hungry and anxious.  When the food preparation was complete, of course the boys were first in line.  They grabbed their salad and side dishes and then their OWN steaks.  Needless to say, they were finished eating before I even sat down with my food.  Seeing all their empty plates, jokingly I asked how they all liked the venison.  I wanted to get a surprise shock from the kids, which I did.  Six BIG eyes immediately looked at me with concern.  I turned and asked the hostess to confirm what type of meat they had just eaten.  Assuming it was beef, I had just taken my first bite.  She answered “DEER.”  I spit out my bite so fast, thankfully I had a napkin…actually it was a paper towel, (Montana napkin).  Then her husband proudly pointed to the deer’s head, which was a five point, mounted on the dining room wall.  From above, it glared down on us with large black eyes!  A five point deer means that there are five branches off each of the deer’s antlers.  My appetite was GONE.   Dwynn was patiently sitting, quietly holding Chloe while the antsy boys couldn’t wait to get on their cell phones and inform all their friends back in California what they had just eaten for dinner. 

The following weekend we were invited to a teacher’s home for an ice skating party and dinner.  Skating on a pond is very different than in a rink.  First, they don’t have a Zamboni to smooth the ice and get rid of the water ripples.  Next, I didn’t realize until it was too late that there are NO walls with railings to stop you.  After being sore from multiple falls, I decided to just sit by the bon fire.  Then we heard the cow bell, which meant time for dinner.  Everyone was cold and hungry.  She served sausage casserole, a large pot of chili and cornbread.  After eating, most went back outside to skate while I stayed inside to visit.  Smiling, I shared the story of what had happened the prior weekend during our “welcome dinner.”  An expression I can’t explain crossed her face as she told me that the sausage used in the casserole was fresh elk and the meat in the chili was deer.  Of course we just assumed it was beef, again…how dense am I!?!

Now we know.  Everyone hunts!  For a few weeks each November and December, whole families take hunting trips together.  Every person is equipped with their own gun.  Even little girls have pink camouflaged 22’s.  School is closed on opening day…it’s an event that’s more exciting than Christmas!  The newspaper arranges hunting contests for all age groups and everyone’s proud picture is displayed with their fresh kill, page after page.  When the individual is interviewed and asked where they shot their prey, the common answer is either "in the neck" or "Notellum Creek."  

My best friend was due with her baby on opening day.  For nine months this was an issue of concern.  G-d was watching out for her family and she had the baby early.  Four days after leaving the hospital, that new baby girl experienced her first hunting trip!  We have discovered this is the way the majority of people provide meat for their families to last the whole year.    

Each fall when the boys register in their dorms for college, they are asked to place all firearms in a downstairs locker when not being used.  I couldn’t imagine this on a college campus!  Montana children grow-up with guns and know safe handling.  Courses are continuously being taught in gun and hunter safety.  In the four years we’ve lived here, there has been no accidental injury caused by firearms.  Actually the crime rate is extremely low because everyone knows that everyone owns guns!  Being the responsible parents that we are, we signed our whole family up for a gun safety course.  Not that we will ever hunt, but we know the kids will be in friend’s homes where there are weapons and we want all curiosity removed.  Out of all six of us, I’m the best shot!  Now we spend date night at the shooting range instead of the bookstore.  I told Dwynn that we need to buy Chloe one of those cute pink guns for her Bat Mitzvah. 

Russ now lives in a fraternity house on campus.  During school breaks, he chooses to stay there and eat frozen packages of meat that past brothers have left there from their hunting expeditions.  Frequently I receive phone calls with added pictures, thanks to technology, of the goose or rabbit he just cooked or the wild turkey or duck he just grilled.  Sometimes the package is a frozen ‘unknown’ which he wants ME to identify and declare safe to eat.  The only problem so far is, sometimes he bites into buck shot that wasn’t removed.  I promise we offer to buy him food but, he likes the adventure!

One afternoon Alex was visiting at a new friend’s home.  Trying to think of something to do, his friend casually asked if he’d like to go bow hunting and shoot rabbits.  Alex declined, thankfully and asked the boy for something to drink.  His friend directed him to the garage for a coke.  Being wintertime, the garage is used as cold storage.  When Alex opened the door, he saw three deer heads on the floor staring up at their skinned bodies hanging from hooks, and their pelts lying on a table.  After touching the newly tanned pelts and poking the deer, he grabbed the coke and shut the door.  Opening the kitchen cabinet for a glass, he found the family’s ammunition stash packed between the dishes.  Alex had some questions for the boy about all the deer he saw, so they went back into the garage.  Being lunchtime, the boy nonchalantly grabbed a pocket knife and cut a fleshy portion off the hanging carcass.  He placed the meat on a metal rack, lit a blow torch that he grabbed from a garage shelf and scorched the meat. He handed the “cooked” venison to Alex to eat!  Again Alex declined, thankfully.  He came home and then made some new friends.

I learn a wealth of information every Tuesday afternoon at bowling!  Much of my blog comes from the knowledge and experience I attain from the Ronan Woman’s Bowling League members.  I’m not skilled at bowling but I enjoy the company and always have stories to tell at dinner. 

A few weeks ago at bowling, my teammates asked if I like Rocky Mountain Oysters.  I explained I’ve never had them but I like smoked oysters.  They started laughing and said that I’ve not lived until I’ve tasted these.  Astonished, being the cook I am, they couldn’t believe that we have lived here for four years and have not tried this local delicacy.  Restaurants and bars always advertise they offer these in the summer but we never really paid much attention to it.  Well, it turns out that Rocky Mountain Oysters are BULLS TESTICLES!  They’re harvested during branding season.  They serve them fried and even smoked.  In a neighboring town every fall, they boast about their annual fair called the “Testicle Festival” or the “Testy Festy” for short.  They claim “You’ll have a ball!  If you miss it, you’re nuts.”  This is a HUGE fair.  Maybe they feed their bulls something different.  There is something to be said about keeping kosher!

A bowling teammate was saying that she made delicious porcupine meatballs for dinner and asked if I’d like the recipe.  Amazed at what they will eat, squishing my face together and not sure what kind of balls we were now speaking about, I said no thank you.  Quite desperately, I then asked if they get the porcupine from hunting or road kill.  All of them looked at me like I was crazy and my friend said they are made with ground beef and rice…SILLY ME!  Don’t get me wrong, they DO eat porcupine.  We’ve been offered moose, and bear and just last week, we came home to a five pound fresh antelope summer sausage present on the picnic table!

Before we had moved here, maybe I would have thought logically about the recipe for porcupine meatballs and reasoned that the ingredients would consist of beef and rice.  But now, that’s ALL gone.  I quit reasoning and assuming.  When at a restaurant and the dessert menu special is “Grass Hopper Pie”, I ask!