Greenfield Acres: Laundry

Who ever thought one could write a whole chapter just on LAUNDRY!  Clean clothes have a whole new meaning and appreciation to me now.  Living on this mountain has given  me the opportunity to respect how many times something can be worn and still be considered clean.  In the "good ol' days" my cleaning woman always did the laundry.  It's such a thankless job that NEVER gets done.  Whenever I was washing the laundry, the kids had the audacity to be wearing clothes that needed to be washed.  Just once I wanted everyone in my household naked while I did the laundry so it could truly be done...never happened!  

Now I have the pleasure of using the laundromat.  The first time, I admit, I'm embarrassed at how unprepared I was.  I only had my checkbook in my purse.  Of course I brought my detergent but left the softener at home.  They had a coin changer machine that wouldn't accept checks.  After schlepping three trips of dirty laundry in, I had to leave to go to the grocery so I could cash a check, not realizing yet about the softener.  I schlepped the clothes back into my truck and left.  They didn't have enough quarters equivalent to my check but I figured it was okay because there is a machine at the omat.  I schlepped the clothes back in only to find that the machine is out of quarters.  In college we used to take a book of matches, rip off the head and stick the cardboard sliver in the quarter slots and use pennies.  It always worked great for four years.  I looked around and contemplated and decided I better not try that.  At this point not caring if somebody stole all our dirty clothes, I left the baskets on the counter and went again to another store, the liquor store!  They had quarters!!!

I loaded five machines, poured in the soap, looked for a dispenser for the softener, which I bought at the omat from their "buffet bar" of soaps for something like $10 an oz., stuck in my quarters and three of the five machines are broken.  Keeping my cool, I put quarters in other machines to make sure they worked and then transfered my soapy gooey clothes.  No softener dispenser.  I sat for 18 minutes and stared at each machine waiting for the little light to go on for the rinse cycle.  When the light went on, I poured my Downy in.  When the cycle completed and the machine stopped shaking twelve minutes later,  I opened  the lid to find all five loads stained blue because there wasn't enough water in the machine when I added the softener.  Never did the bottle say mix into water first!   

At this point, I decided to take all the wet clothes home so I could finally leave the omat, and hang them on my new clothes line.  It's a beautiful day outside so the clothes line sounds good.  I drive home with the windows open breathing in the "fresh spring" smell, not realizing how much dust is getting on the "clean stained" clothes from our dirt roads.  As I turn the corner I see in the distance, a small black bear feverishly chasing a young Amish boy on his bicycle.  The little boy is pedaling frantically trying to escape his wrath while all the bear wants to do is play, I think!  When the cub hears my truck, he takes off running in the opposite direction...towards our camper.  The boy sighed, gave a thankful wave and was pleased that he didn't lose his straw hat.

I carry the laundry to the line, looking cautiously over my shoulder with the dogs at my side.  In my new wicker basket are all of my new wooden clothes pins.  Of course thinking I have plenty, I run out...no big deal.  I'll just re-pin everything with one pin.  I still run out... okay I'll just drape the clothes over.  Then I run out of space on my line.  Frustrated, I just plop everything on the line and take a step back to survey my job.  I have five loads of blue dirty clothes hanging on a clothes line, five layers thick that will never dry.  I smile, pleased at my hard day's work and walk into the camper. 

That evening, I remove our bed sheets from the line.  They are supposed to smell "spring fresh" not!  Everything else is still damp so I leave it all to deal with later.  I make the bed and we climb in it to sleep.  After about a minute my husband starts squirming.  I ask him what's the matter and he says a bug is crawling on him.  I get hysterical and start feeling bugs also!  Nobody ever told me to vigorously shake out the laundry.  

The next morning feeling fresh and renewed, I venture out to my clothes line.  The clothes and towels are all board stiff and wrinkled!  I still can't smell the "spring fresh" aroma.  I need to schedule an emergency consultation with my Amish neighbors! 

After talking with friends about my laundry ordeal, I learned two very valuable tips.  The first one is to use hangers instead of cloth's pins.  Brilliant!  Things will hang straight without wrinkles and don't take up hardly any space.  Secondly, towels when dry are to be now used as an exfoliator.  Rub yourself when drying, the dead skin will be removed and your body is left baby soft and smooth!